Sun, 16 Aug 2026 16:07:07 +0000

You can train someone to hit a number. You can't train them to read a room, regulate under pressure, or deliver hard news without making it worse. Ryan Calkins and John Moore get into why emotional intelligence keeps getting labeled a "soft skill", and why that label is costing leaders more than they realize.

This isn't a conversation about being nicer. It's about why the hardest skills to build are the ones nobody puts on a job description, and what happens when you get promoted without them.

What Ryan and John get into:

- Why EQ and empathy get dismissed as optional, and the real cost of that thinking
- The difference between leaders who learn emotional regulation and those who crash under pressure
- What actually happens when a great technical performer gets promoted and isn't ready for people
- How to stay consistent in your approach without losing the human element, and why that's harder than it sounds
- The question worth sitting with: which of these skills are you avoiding because they're uncomfortable?

"Leading ain't easy, but you don't have to do it alone."

If you manage people and nobody's having these conversations with you, that's what this show is for. New episodes drop every Tuesday at 9am PST. Subscribe so you don't miss it.

#LeadingAintEasy #EmotionalIntelligence #LeadershipDevelopment #Management #NewManager #leadership #podcast

Chapters
00:00 — Why "soft skills" is a misleading label
01:01 — Emotional regulation under pressure: Ryan gets honest about his own struggle
02:19 — Should managers come in knowing this, or be trained for it?
03:23 — Don't wait for a leadership program to start building these skills
04:46 — What happens when a manager loses it during a hard conversation
06:00 — Why EQ is harder to measure than technical skill, but more valuable
09:25 — Rewarding behaviors, not just numbers
10:19 — When "clean house" is the wrong call: protecting the team vs. production
12:36 — When great technical performers fail as leaders
14:26 — Burnout managers who never learned to delegate
16:55 — Should people be penalized for not wanting to lead?
19:46 — Salary, caps, and finding the right role for the right person
21:00 — Project management and people management: where they overlap
25:00 — What skills actually build emotional intelligence
26:41 — Self-awareness vs. situational awareness, and why you need both
27:48 — Consistency in delivery without losing your humanity
31:07 — "Don't mistake kindness for weakness" - the Marine Corps framing
33:39 — Generational overcorrection: are we course-correcting in the wrong direction?
37:15 — Self-awareness as a blessing and a curse
38:13 — John's lesson from trying to lead differently than the bad managers he watched
43:02 — When empathy feels scripted, and what that tells you
47:32 — Empathy isn't learned, it's experienced
48:41 — The honest question for listeners: which skill are you avoiding?